Motivational Speaker

A concept for a performance piece, where  I stand on a stage giving a motivational speech to an assembled throng of software engineers in the most demotivating way possible, delivering the following script in a dull monotone, accompanied by a slide show of photographs of mistreated dogs:


You need to turn your indecision into a win decision.

You need to get your head in the game.

It's time to step up, or step off.

If you don't get the pay off, be ready for the lay off.

If you don't buy a ticket, you won't win the raffle.

If you don't believe, you can't achieve.

Are you ready to win big?

A bear might shit in the woods, but birds lay eggs.

There's no 'I' in 'money'.

Client-facing? Client embracing more like.

Business is like riding a Harley Davidson. Wear a helmet.

It's time to step up to the plate.

If you're working out in the ideas gym then you'd better be sweating.

Profit, profit, profit. Which part don't you understand?

Feel the deal before you seal the deal.

This time we're playing to win.

Relish the pressure.

Synergy is a winergy.

It's all about who wants it more.

Life is a roller coaster, you've just got to ride it.

Your life is a legend waiting to be written.